How NOT to wake up on a Friday morning.

First, don't go to bed at 3 am Friday morning expecting to wake up in any sort of reasonably good mood. Not gonna happen, not unless you actually get to sleep until noon.

Second, unplug the frickin' phone because, apparently, SOME people have their faculties about them enough to dial the phone at 7:45 in the morning but just because SOME people have their faculties doesn't mean they should be allowed to use them. Kind of like frozen burritos. Just because you have half a dozen in the freezer doesn't mean you should eat them all.

Third, when a throught drifts through your sleepy brain at 7:56 in the morning about the fact that today is trash day and you forgot to take out the trash last night and maybe you should get up now before the trash trucks come and you have to run out in your pajamas, you should listen to it. And by listen to it I don't mean roll over and go back to sleep until the trash truck is in front of your house and you have to find something to throw on so that you can take out both the trash and recyclables and NOT scare the neighbors or the trash men because, duh, you don't wear pajamas.

Just sayin'.