Reality

You know that feeling you get when you just want to escape? When you throw your stuff in the car, climb in, and suddenly realize that you can't go home, that you have to take a left turn instead of going straight or you might suffocate?

Yeah, well, that was me today ... only when I turned left and drove, it didn't get any better, no matter how far I went. So when driving for 45 minutes didn't work, I parked by the Town Commons and walked. When I got tired, I sat on the grass. And even that didn't work.

So I got up and went back to the car. I realized it was no use, that I have no way to escape.

How do you explain to your kids that being a parent is killing you? That every choice that you have made to make their lives better, that they don't appreciate, is making your life worse? That you want to just quit everything and run away but you can't because their very existence is stopping you.

I'm angry because I have no choices. Because I can't run away, no matter how much I want to.

In the end, I realized that I had no choice but to go home and suffocate.

3 Comments

Larry said:

Is this the same sharon o that has traversed lifes past adversities such aplomb, nay I say. Surely, a passing ray of futility couldn't dampen the true spirit of a trooper such as yourself.
Larry

May 27, 2006 11:14 AM

Prosemonkey said:

Eh, it's the same. We all have days/weeks/months like this, don't we?

May 28, 2006 11:38 PM

Larry said:

Aye, and who knows where the love of God goes when the waves turn the minutes to hours.

July 1, 2006 10:03 AM

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