October 2006 Archives

A few days ago, I joined StumbleUpon and I have not been disappointed. I have been pointed to delicious recipes, gorgeous photography, and gems like this.

If you haven't tried it, you may want to look into it. I find that with my busy schedule, I have very little time to surf and I usually end up wasting what little time I do have. Now when I'm bored, I click the Stumble link in my browser and I'm taken someplace new. Also, the extra cool thing is that, when I Stumble across something I like, I can recommend it to others that have the same interests (everything from Astronomy to Web Development) as I do.

UPDATE: and then I find THIS! just. wow.

UPDATE to the Update: and THIS. Can't help but smile.

Asking my mom for a simple favor is a dangerous thing to do. I had a workshop run late this afternoon and I asked her to pick the girl up from school. What was supposed to be a quick pick up turned into a 2 hour long visit, complete with her making me feel like a selfish, irresponsible parent. When she questioned something about my love life and how I may not be giving the kids enough attention, I actually fought back.

I know. I'm a bad daughter. But it had to be done. I will not allow her to bully me into feeling like this any more. No favor is worth this.

The fact that this comes from one of the most irresponsible, selfish parents I know is the great irony.

Apparently, I'm still too angry to talk about this and have been sitting here all night hoping to be able to get it off my chest but I'm not sure I can talk about it rationally yet. Writing is not coming as easily as I thought it would. I've shut down and need some time to process all of this.

Goodnight.

My last post ...
a conversation at work ...
a wedding shower avoided ...
an argument with the boy ...

My last post was going someplace, really it was. Anyone that knows me (grand total: 1!) knows that I don't leave posts half written like I have been recently but, gentle reader, if I didn't let them go when I did, I wouldn't be posting at all ... and if I didn't post at all, I wouldn't be talking at all and, honestly, I want nothing more than to crawl into a hole and not talk about what is on my mind.

Unfortunately, I know what happens when I do that and it involves a downward spiral and an awful lot of wallowing. And, as I am made painfully aware every blessed day of my not so blessed life, I do not have time to wallow.

Maybe it's me. I've always suspected I was broken and maybe I am. Witness my inability to not post a new entry without using a title that starts with the letter R. It started as a lark, then became an obsession, now it's a frickin' albatross.

"Albatross!"

Oh, come on, you KNEW that was coming.

Your Honor, exhibit A: A transcript of a typical conversation I have with myself as soon as I start thinking about a new post:

"I'm going to write about insert insipid topic here , so the title will be ... Re- .... hmmm, what R word haven't I used? (after thinking for a few minutes and wishing I had a dictionary at hand, I click in the Moveable Type dropdown title box, type in an R and scroll down) Wow, I don' t think there are any more R words, at least not any GOOD R words (I'm nothing if not polysyllabic and, apparently, psychotic, since I speak to myself in an aside in my own aside. Hooo, boy.) ... Redundant? Repetitive? Regurgitation?? Maybe I should just give in and come up with a title that doesn't start with an R. But what will it start with? Should I go alphabetically and move on to S, like a good librarian? Or is that too regimented (Good word! Mental note!!) and expected. I know ... I'll go BACKWARDS through the alphabet and start this title with Q so that on the list of recent posts they will always be in alphabetical order. Hmm, but do I just break from the Rs or do I make an announcement, drawing attention to it? Now what's a GOOD word that starts with Q?"

Of course, by this time, I've either totally forgotten what I wanted to write about in the first place or I have wasted so much time trying to come up with a title that I don't have time to write anymore so I push it aside for another time, another day, another urge and lather, rinse, repeat.

Welcome to my madness. That is how I approach everything. And I wonder why I get nothing done.

This week, I'm headed to Winston Salem, NC for the 2006 NCSLMA conference. I leave Wednesday afternoon and get back Friday night. I am going alone.

I just like to sit and let that thought dissolve like a sugar cube on my tongue ... mmm, alone ... solitary goodness.

It's weird. I am surrounded by kids all day (570 to be exact) .... they are all needy and so are their teachers. I have the phone ringing off the hook, email emergencies, last minute computer issues, classes back to back with no help at all. And when I say no help at all, I mean I have two assistants for 2 hours each a day ... one has been sick for two weeks and has gotten absolutely nothing done, the other is going to be out for two months starting next week.
We check out an average of 374 books a day (taken over a 12 day period) and I can not do it alone. When they are here, all they do is put up books. This is not going to be fun.

I've been sick for two weeks and have gotten absolutely nothing done. I've known about this conference for a month and am not ready at all. I spent yesterday fretting, an emotional wreck ... I was sitting at a red light in the afternoon and the tears were just flowing.

Today, I have to leave here to go to the bank, get gas and pick up my daughter from school. Then we come back here for another hour or two of planning (getting directions printed out, finishing up my sub plan, putting in tech requests and finishing a defrag on a dying computer). THEN we have to head out to get groceries. AND THEN I have to go home and do laundry and pack because I am leaving right after school tomorrow.

Honestly, I'm exhausted just thinking about everything I have to pack. I must start making lists.

"Hi, I'm Sharon and I'm a listaholic."
"Hi Sharon!"

My world will be right with a list. It has to be.